I've been lying all along

"Zohaibman72" (zohaibman72)
12/16/2013 at 20:48 • Filed to: None

If you've seen me around Jalopnik and Oppo, you may see my dedication to defending the Camry and everything it stands for.

I don't drive a Camry, I drive a Ferrari 458 Italia.

No. I'm kidding. I do drive a 2008 Hybrid Camry.

But I don't drive yet, technically.

I have my Ontario G2 driving test next Monday. I'm actually terrified of failing it, and ontop of that the weather is awful.

Any tips, Oppo?

DISCUSSION (18)

Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:51

If the test judge pisses his or her pants, you get a thousand points.

Seriously though, where in Ontario are you doing the test?

Zohaibman72 > Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise
12/16/2013 at 20:52

Oakville, Ontario. Near Toronto/Mississauga

PatBateman > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:54

Bring the proxy cold hard cash.

Zohaibman72 > PatBateman
12/16/2013 at 20:54

I dont have any physical money on me, I hope they take debit.

Ravey Mayvey Slurpee Surprise > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:55

Well, as far as I know, Oakville's traffic isn't too bad (despite being sandwiched between 'Sauga and Hamilton). As far as snow goes, keep it at whatever speeds you're comfortable with and hope snow doesn't get poured from the sky.

Lets Just Drive > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:55

Chicks in bikini's on rollerblades.

No, I'm not kidding. Years and years ago, when I took my road test failed the first time and it was in large part due to my getting "the Whale" a well known examiner with a penchant for hating boys (so much so, in fact, she was later fired and investigated for demonstrating unfair sexual and racial bias) but the second time around I got a younger guy (maybe mid to late 30's at the time) with bleached blonde hair, a faux-tan and tight t-shirt (early version of the Bro syndrome?) and he wasn't having any of that prejudice stuff - except for when he told me to slow down (I tested during the summer) so that he could drop the window and whistle at a lady rollerblading in her bikini. Not one demerit.

So yeah, that.

Also, and more realistically; take the test in an automatic. I'm pretty sure there are no transmission based qualifications in Ontario, so being able to minimize your distractions will increase your chances of success.

Second, focus and relax. You're just going for a drive. Sure, you're going for a drive with someone who is being paid to judge you, but that shouldn't make a lick of difference because you're always an attentive and calm driver... right?

You'll do fine.

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:56

I failed my driving test the first time... I was going to fast, causing me to have som dorifto in a roundabout... if first you don't... well you know.

Good luck :)

dogisbadob > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:58

There is noting wrong with the Camry. It is a great car that doesn't need that hate.

OK fine, maybe it's not quite as good as the 92-96 version, but it's still an awesome car that will last a long long time.

Tom McParland > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 20:59

When in doubt... flat out...and keep calm and Oppo on. :D

Zohaibman72 > dogisbadob
12/16/2013 at 21:02

I don't have a problem with it in itself, it's a great car, in my opinion. It does what it needs to do, be a car.

I just wish I had something more sometimes. But I can't complain, I got it for free.

Zohaibman72 > Lets Just Drive
12/16/2013 at 21:05

I hope I do well, I'm doing it in a 1999 Toyota Corolla, It's my driving instructors car. It's automatic and everything, good enough for the road test.

Zohaibman72 > Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh
12/16/2013 at 21:05

I hope I don't slip and slide in the car...

dogisbadob > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 21:07

NP :)

Laird Andrew Neby Bradleigh > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 21:10

It'll be allright mate.. it'll be allright :)

Nibbles > Zohaibman72
12/16/2013 at 21:30

Wear a helmet and utter naught a single word during the entire test. If possible, tune the radio to the nearest soft rock station or NPR

153624 - Straight Six > Zohaibman72
12/17/2013 at 00:24

I took mine in a rural place because it's apparently a lot easier. The highway component consisted of a stop sign and then an 80km/h local road. It was fantastic.

orcim > Zohaibman72
12/17/2013 at 03:19

This is easy. Pretend you're an anal retentive 50 year old. Whatever that means to you. Put the envelope on over your skin, feel it, live it. Consider screaming "get off my lawn" at some young kids, just *because*.

Everything you ever read - do it. Two hands on the wheel, no distractions, no radio look over your shoulder *every* time for going into traffic, changing lanes, etc. Pretend there's nothing else in the world except "following the rules". Rolling stop? Anal 50 yr old would *never* do one. Lane change without blinkers? Anal 50 yr old *laughs* in the face of anyone that does that.

Them driver exam bitches love that shit. ;) And after you get your license, forget everything I said here. Please.

The Compromiser > Zohaibman72
12/17/2013 at 23:15

The best luck I had was that the roads hadn't been plowed and I was the last person to ever get their license test from the auditor where I lived as he retired that day. No parallel parking and once around the block. When I went for my BZ the guy knew my family and that my father taught me how to drive. We shot the shit the whole trip. And part way through the test we had to emergency detour as the constabulary had cordoned off one of the main thoroughfares due to a domestic incident with a gun. I had to detour onto an unplowed side street full of parked cars. Did I mention it was winter? After that went well i got the head for the shop nod. No further evaluation.

For the motorcycle they sent us around the block and through some cones in the parking lot. I was on a street legal 50cc Yamaha. I did Much better than the guy on the Harley and the one one the Gold Wing that day.

Doing it in the winter and during a snow storm would be the best option. Follow the rules and don't spin out. Also don't play Kanye DURING the test....